Sexism or racism?

Everybody is against something. If I don’t win the Democratic presidential nomination, despite carrying all the important states, and biting into Republican strongholds like Kentucky and West Virginia, my supporters will cry foul. Foul? Sure. It’s purely sexism that is keeping me from winning the nomination. It’s a man’s world and the last thing they … Read More »

My 5 biggest mistakes this year

Politics is like war. Politicians engage in a battle with other politicians, hoping the other one will make more mistakes. Looking back to January, I see five big mistakes. Singly, no one mistake caused me to fall behind Barack Obama in the primary delegate contest. Added together, all five put me in a less than … Read More »

Onoda did not surrender. Me neither.

I remember reading about Hiroo Onoda, that Japanese soldier who continued to fight on in the jungles of the Philippines for 30 years after WWII ended. What a great inspiration for me. There is one person on the planet who understands how I feel. I cannot surrender. I may be defeated in battle. I may … Read More »

You gotta R E S P E C T me! Or, else!

The SuperDelegates are beginning to piss me off. All this switching sides. It’s un-American. It’s disloyal. Am I the only person who pays attention to the trends in the primaries? I prepared a little flyer for the SuperDelegates showing them what has happened in the Democratic primary elections. It’s been two seasons. Barack won the … Read More »

Bill, the Senator

My aides are working out a deal with Barack Obama to put me on the ticket as Vice-President. It’s a last ditch scenario in the unlikely event that I am not nominated as the Democratic candidate for President. It’s a long shot, but being Vice President and winning is better than being a presidential candidate … Read More »

So much for the ‘Comeback Kid’

What is it with news people and political pundits? I win a primary by overwhelming numbers and all anyone talks about is when I plan to drop out of the race. Hello? NBC, CNN, CBS, ABC! Haven’t you heard of ‘comebacks?’ Sure, things are not looking up right now. West Virginia voters are mostly white, … Read More »

Viral Hillary

My new campaign slogan, ‘Hillary in the House‘ is taking off big time. It’s all over the internet. One of my supporters in West Virginia said she saw it on television and thought it was great. First class lip syncing, she said. Then she asked if it was OK for me to run for President … Read More »

All in the Family

One of my favorite television shows from decades past was Archie Bunker’s ‘All in the Family.’ It was about a lovable,¬†irascible, prejudiced, white bigot in New York. The show was a classic. I was in Kentucky this week and mentioned to some of my supporters in a rally how politics has changed since the Archie … Read More »