I’m on the phone tonight with Mark Penn going over campaign strategy and I give him a couple of ‘action items.’ He balks. No, not really balks; worse. He says, “Madam Senator, that’s not in my job description.” Job description? This guy gets paid more than any other person on my campaign staff, and he … Read More »

Why the Democrats chose August for a political convention is something I will never understand. It’s all Howard Dean’s fault. Once I’m President the first thing I’ll do is to send that noisy little mouse man back to Vermont. He should have stayed a chiropractor and never become involved in politics. He screwed up the … Read More »

Alright, so I embellished the facts a little. I’m a politician. It’s what we do. The YouTube generation will be the death of politicians as we know them today. For the past year I’ve been telling people everywhere that helped broker peace in the Balkans, flew into an airfield which was under sniper fire, and … Read More »

Icky gave me the bad news. Former New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson will endorse Barack Obama. On the surface it would seem as if Richardson has become a traitor, but I don’t think so. Bill owes his entire political life to the Clintons. We gave him everything he has. From his lengthy resume to his … Read More »

How many Texans does it take to count a vote? Seriously. How many? Texas’ strange Frankenelection was held almost two weeks ago and they still haven’t finished counting all the votes. I think I won but I don’t know for sure. They do things differently down in the Lone Star state. The way I understand … Read More »

Timing is everything. Unfortunately, there’s good timing and bad timing. Geraldine Ferraro played what may well be our last race card the other day, and days later I had to face a bunch of African-American newspaper publishers and ask them for support. Life is full of little ironies like that. Well, before I could face … Read More »

Maybe he’s tired. Maybe he just doesn’t care. Maybe his Alzheimer’s is kicking in. Whatever it is, Bill is fresh out of ideas. His latest trip to the looney farm was a stunner. Even Mark Penn didn’t know what to say. When Maggie Williams heard Bill’s idea she snorted coffee through her nose. We’re all … Read More »

Maggie called me early this morning with the news. We gained a dozen or so delegates by winning Texas, Ohio, and Rhode Island but spent $25-million to do it. She also said we lost about a dozen SuperDelegates who switched over to Barack Obama. Only Mitt Romney spent more of his own money to buy … Read More »