It dawned on me that I’m suddenly getting political support from the strangest places. It isn’t money, it’s kudos from the unlikeliest sources. Who supports Hillary Clinton these days? Rush Limbaugh, that’s who. Rush and Pat Buchanan. Limbaugh started to encourage people to vote for me back in the Texas and Ohio primaries. Maybe that’s … Read More »

If Barack Obama and his supporters can play the African-American race card, then I can play the gender card. If Barack Obama can speak about race in American, then I can play the gender card and give a major speech about gender inequality. Except for one thing. I don’t know what to say.  Those pant … Read More »

The primary election in Pennyslvania is a week away. I plan to win. We’re dumping lots of money into television commercials which attack Barack Obama. I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I think we’re entering ‘Hail Mary’ season in the campaign. Tommy Vietor from Obama’s campaign said, ‘she’ll do anything to get elected.’ So? … Read More »

Cash up front. That’s what it’s come down to. So I missed a few payments, and have a shoebox full of unpaid bills. Big whoop, right?  Some services vendors in Ohio and Texas are complaining that I haven’t paid them for services rendered. We normally don’t pay anything for 60 days, so why complain now? … Read More »

Enough is enough. Mark Penn is outta here. We’ll let it leak that he’s been involved in some kind of shenanigans with a Colombian drug cartel or something like that. Then we’ll tell reporters, privately, that everyone is glad he’s gone because he caused so much turmoil among the staff. That two-step firing process makes … Read More »

I’m on the phone tonight with Mark Penn going over campaign strategy and I give him a couple of ‘action items.’ He balks. No, not really balks; worse. He says, “Madam Senator, that’s not in my job description.” Job description? This guy gets paid more than any other person on my campaign staff, and he … Read More »

Why the Democrats chose August for a political convention is something I will never understand. It’s all Howard Dean’s fault. Once I’m President the first thing I’ll do is to send that noisy little mouse man back to Vermont. He should have stayed a chiropractor and never become involved in politics. He screwed up the … Read More »

Alright, so I embellished the facts a little. I’m a politician. It’s what we do. The YouTube generation will be the death of politicians as we know them today. For the past year I’ve been telling people everywhere that helped broker peace in the Balkans, flew into an airfield which was under sniper fire, and … Read More »