It says something about the Democratic presidential campaign when Republican presidential candidates never mention anyone else but Hillary Clinton. Who do you suppose all the Republicans expect to run against next year? That would be me. The Republican front runners already are tossing dirt in my direction. Except John McCain. Why? I’m not sure. Rudy … Read More »
CNN is the Clinton News Network
November 13, 2007
Someone figured it out. CNN really means the Clinton News Network. There’s no use denying it. There’s so much campaign money coming in that we had to spend it using creative means, and that means finding honest reporters who are willing to talk about real issues with honesty and integrity. We found a couple of … Read More »
Who was that masked man?
November 3, 2007
It’s late Saturday night in Iowa and I just finished a bubble bath using some kind of special creamy foamy concoction that Martha Stewart gave me. It’s supposed to reduce cellulite and soften skin and reduce wrinkles. John Edwards uses it. Bill turns on the television and there were were on screen, all gussied up … Read More »
When it rains, it pours
November 1, 2007
Alright, I admit that I wrote some pretty nasty things to Bill during the Monica Lewinsky affair. Who could blame me? Well, what I wrote to Bill turned up in the presidential documents in the National Archives. Let that be a lesson. Read my lips. No. Paper. Trail. Bill managed to get the Archives to … Read More »
Billy Crystal needs a hairpiece
October 27, 2007
A few notes from the birthday party: When Bill told me that Elvis would be attending my 60th birthday bash, I though he’d have a dozen or so Elvis impersonators. Instead, we got Elvis Costello. What a let down. The man is worse than Johnny Cash with all that black, morbid look. Ron Howard came … Read More »
Clinton Family Values
October 25, 2007
Tomorrow is the big day. The big 6-oh. More than half my life has been with Bill. Ups, downs, more downs. The ins and outs have been good, too. He’s quite the romantic lover. Why did I stick with Bill? After all, he’s caused me three shades of grief through the years. It’s complicated. He’s … Read More »
Bring it on, pretty boys
October 17, 2007
In my whole life I have never, ever spent $400 on my hair, whether cut or styled or colored or whatever. We’ll be living in inflation hell before that happens. So what does John Edwards do? The lawyer goes on the offensive and attacks me on character and truthfulness. Hello? John Edwards is a lawyer … Read More »
Where does all the money go?
October 14, 2007
We’ve received some criticism about all the money our campaign has collected so far. I don’t know how much but it’s a lot. Where does all the money go? People. Television. Radio. Newspapers. Fundraisers. Fundraisers? Yes. It costs money to raise money. It’s worse than United Way. I look at the budget from time to … Read More »