We talk, but not really

Yes, we are in constant communication with Senator Obama’s campaign officials. He knows what I’m doing for him is good politics. I rip into him whenever I get the chance. If he survives my attacks, he deserves the nomination for President. The exercise will make him a better candidate. If he doesn’t survive me, then … Read More »

Sexism or racism?

Everybody is against something. If I don’t win the Democratic presidential nomination, despite carrying all the important states, and biting into Republican strongholds like Kentucky and West Virginia, my supporters will cry foul. Foul? Sure. It’s purely sexism that is keeping me from winning the nomination. It’s a man’s world and the last thing they … Read More »

Hillary in the House

My latest ad campaign is code named ‘HillaryVirus.’ It’s viral marketing. I’m not completely sure what that means but my aides and advisors think it’s cool. When I asked them if a viral marketing campaign would help me defeat Barack Obama they all shrugged, and said, ‘meh.’ I came up with the ‘Hillary in the … Read More »

Where in the world is Barack Obama?

I am concerned for Barack Obama. Ever since I won a decisive primary victory in Indiana, he’s been off the campaign trail, probably licking his wounds and pondering obscurity. I understand Obama’s appeal. He’s an attractive black man, a mixture of cultures, an enticing and engaging, some say exotic, man of learning and discipline. That’s … Read More »

The gas tax gimmick explained

In the face of rising fuel costs, I proposed a federal Gas Tax Holiday and somehow people didn’t buy it. What’s not to like? The proposal was simple. We have record high gasoline prices, partly because the government collects taxes on each gallon pumped. I propose that from Memorial Day through Labor Day, that we, … Read More »

Bill O’Reilly wears women’s panties

I was warned against doing an interview on Bill O’Reilly’s television show. He is so anti-Democratic, so hostile, so anti-Clinton. Everyone asked me what I hoped to gain. Ha. What they didn’t know.  O’Reilly was civil, courteous, agreed to disagree, and the whole show was without incident and a smash ratings success. Why? Just before … Read More »

Big Booster or bye bye Bayh?

Paying some historical homage to General Custer, Indiana is pretty much Clinton’s Last Stand. The man on the hot seat for delivering a win in Indiana is Evan Bayh, the former Governor-turned-Senator who promised me he would deliver his state. He’s my biggest booster in Indiana. We’ll see. It’s getting awfully close in the polls. … Read More »

The working class

One thing I love to do to people in the media is play chameleon and constantly re-invent myself. They eat it up, thinking all the while that I’m connecting with people, showing the real me. If anyone is doing a count I’m up to the seventh ‘real me’ since the Iowa caucuses.  The latest series … Read More »