Me And My Big Mouth


Last night I got this call from President Obama. He says, “Hillary, would you do something for me? Nobody else but you can do this.” Whoa. What an invitation. The leader of the free world needs me. So, without really thinking it through, I said, “Sure, Mr. President. Whatever you need, I’m here.” What’s wrong … Continue Reading »

The Thrill Is Gone


I don’t know how Maggy Thatcher did it. She was a tough and energetic Prime Minister even though she was old. I’ve been on top and on the bottom. That’s how life is. Now I’m close to the top again. This is how I want to go out. Me on top. Back in the day … Continue Reading »

Forgetting Jason Segel


Jason Segel seems like a nice young man. It would just never work out between us. He’s hinted around for a few months that he’d like to star in a movie with me. Fat chance. If it were George Clooney, maybe. Well, not even maybe. But Jason Segel? He’s the guy who starred in the … Continue Reading »

Party Like It’s 1992


I haven’t had this much fun since 1992 when Bill was elected president. We all knew the Secretary of State was a plum job, but nobody filled us in on the little details. Three words. Party. Party. Party. I’d love to say that being Secretary of State means a party every night in another country, … Continue Reading »

Cookies Make Me Sick


Yes, I know everyone loves cookies. Not me. Despite anything I’ve done in my distant past to make it look like I’m an average mom, I’m not. If the truth is to be told, I hate cookies. Well, actually, I love to eat cookies. Why do you think I have to wear pantsuits? It’s the … Continue Reading »

No More Scrunchies? Ha!


I found out that my staff wants to ban the scrunchie. Shades of Daniel and his king, Darius the Mede. There’s even a poll on Huffington Post about whether I should keep the scrunchie or change my hairstyle entirely. I’m winning, by the way. What my staff doesn’t know and won’t find out is the … Continue Reading »

How To Stop Rush Limbaugh’s Assault On Women


My staff asked me to say a few words about Rush Limbaugh’s assault on women. I couldn’t do it. I tried. But I couldn’t come up with a few words. And many of the words I did come up with couldn’t be printed even in the New York Times. What Limbaugh did by portraying Georgetown … Continue Reading »

My New Glasses


This new pair of glasses was long overdue. It’s a wonder I could get on the correct plane at the airport, my eyes were so bad. Once I put on these new prescription glasses I could see everything much more clearly. The first thing I did was tell Bill to lose a few more pounds. … Continue Reading »