This new pair of glasses was long overdue. It’s a wonder I could get on the correct plane at the airport, my eyes were so bad.
Once I put on these new prescription glasses I could see everything much more clearly. The first thing I did was tell Bill to lose a few more pounds.
Then, I scanned my daily briefings and read something about violence in Syria, where the Assad regime (which is what we call governments we don’t like– regime) is killing their own citizens.
Maybe my eyes were worse than I thought. I don’t remember anything about troubles in Syria.
Well, being able to see all the details more clearly, thanks to the new glasses, emboldened me to work on some kind of Clintonesque peace plan. So, I got on the phone and called Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad, and gave him a piece of my mind.
I said, “Given your history of over-promising and under-delivering, whatever commitment you make regarding peace in your country must be matched by actions.”
Otherwise, I said, “I’m coming there for a visit and you don’t want that.”
Well, Al-Assad didn’t say much. Actually, come to think of it, I don’t think he speaks English.
By then my dander was up, my spidey-sense was tingling, and everything seemed to clear to my eyes. I’m a woman of action, right?
So, I got on the phone again and called Newt Gingrich. “Newt,” I said, “You gotta keep the race going until the convention. Otherwise, Santorum will beat Romney, Republicans will be divided and you’ll never get the White House back in 2012, or 2016, or even 2020.”
“Oh, and lose a few pounds, too, Dumbo. What are you? An owner of Krispy Kreame stock?”