Bill, the Senator

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My aides are working out a deal with Barack Obama to put me on the ticket as Vice-President. It’s a last ditch scenario in the unlikely event that I am not nominated as the Democratic candidate for President. It’s a long shot, but being Vice President and winning is better than being a presidential candidate who loses in the primaries.

We’re also in contact with David Paterson, New York’s Governor. Barack says that if I’m on the ticket with him then we have to find something for Bill to do. He won’t be allowed back in the White House, and he won’t get the Ambassador to the United Nations job I had reserved for him.

The next best thing would be for Paterson to appoint Bill to my old senate seat. That keeps the seat under Democratic control, Bill would easily win the special election in 2010, and I would keep him off my back and out of Barack’s way.

Perfect.

Bill, the Senator.

The very thought of it makes me laugh. At least I can act like a stone cold, abrasive New Yorker. Bill still sounds like he’s from Arkansas, certainly not like anyone from Queens, the Bronx, or Brooklyn. How he gets people to love him in Harlem is beyond me.

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