Honestly, I thought Larry King died sometime last year. Someone died. I know because I went to the funeral. I thought it was Larry King. Anyway, Maggie set me up for an interview on Larry King Live. I figured there would be a guest host handling the interview, just so CNN could play re-runs of … Read More »
Obama can’t close the deal
April 21, 2008
People need to ask Barack Obama this question: ‘Why can’t you close the deal?’ After all, Obama leads in the popular vote, he leads in the number of delegates, he’s got five times as much money as me, and he’s spending it like a drunken sailor on shore leave, but I’m going to win Pennsylvania … Read More »
Regardless of margin, a win is a win
April 20, 2008
The vote in Pennsylvania is drawing near. I’m relieved. I know I will win the primary, which means another big state loss for Barack Obama. It will be close, but if I win by only a single vote, then I still win. That’s what counts. I’m being outspent by Obama’s full treasure chest of campaign … Read More »
Chugalug
April 19, 2008
I like a glass of sweet wine at dinner, so I was totally aghast at how the campaign went last week in Pennsylvania. It was one thing to drop into a bar with a bunch of sweaty men in plaid shirts, and something else to chug down a glass of warm beer. It was warm … Read More »
A ride in the Popemobile
April 18, 2008
Now that everyone knows Catholics will vote for me and not for Barack Obama, I’m ready to cash in a political chip or two. Pope Benedict XVI is visiting the U.S. and I want a ride in his Popemobile. In fact, I plan to change the presidential limo into a Hillarymobile once I’m elected President. … Read More »
The Final Debate? No. Bring on McCain!
April 17, 2008
Some members of the press have suggested that my most recent debate with Barack Obama will be my last. I laugh at that suggestion. What about John McCain? Do people not expect the Republican nominee for President to debate the Democratic nominee for President? That would be me, of course. Barack Obama doesn’t want to … Read More »
The Gaffe Tax
April 16, 2008
I’m on record as favoring a shorter political campaign season. When a presidential campaign drags on for a year or two, well it’s just too long. There are too many opportunities to say something out of context, to stumble and trip over some mistake. Politicians pay a high price these days for making mistakes. What … Read More »
The ‘Gas Tax’ Holiday
April 15, 2008
John McCain isn’t too bad for an old man. His latest proposal is for a ‘Gas Tax’ Holiday. Democrats would call it a moratorium on federal gasoline taxes, but McCain uses the word ‘holiday.’ I love it. Now, if John could just figure out a way to pay for the holiday he proposes. If I’m … Read More »