It’s April Fool’s Day, suckers!

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I have a big announcement to make this morning that will set the news media on fire. First, I’ll call a news conference. Second, I have a prepared announcement to read.

I want to take a moment to say that this has been a very hard fought race. Each of us is drawing enormous support. We clearly need to do something so that our party and the people can make the right decision.”

The only difficulty I think I will have up to that point of the announcement is keeping a straight face. I’ll give a long pause, then take a deep breath, and continue.

Today, I am challenging Senator Obama to a bowl off, a bowling night, right here in Pennsylvania, winner take all.

I will even spot him 2 frames. It’s time for his campaign to get out of the gutter and allow all of the pins to be counted. I am prepared to play this game all the way to 10th frame. And when this game is over the America people will know when that phone rings at 3am they will have a president who will be able to bowl on day one so let’s strike a deal and go bowling for delegates.

We don’t have a moment to spare, because it’s already April Fools Day, so happy April Fools Day everybody.”

And they say I don’t have a sense of humor. Ha!

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