Someone gave me a copy of a memo called, ‘The Path to the Presidency.’ I don’t know who wrote it. Nobody on the staff will say. It’s not Maggie Williams because she won’t put anything down on paper. Maybe it was Mark Penn but the memo doesn’t have any spelling errors. I figure it was … Read More »
Now I’m “a monster?”
March 6, 2008
You would think people would warm up to me after all I’ve been through. I have a great smile. My hair is perfect. I look good in pantsuits. I don’t stutter or drool. Who is Samantha Power and why does she think I’m “a monster?” I’ve been parodied on Saturday Night Live. I’ve been on … Read More »
That pesky delegate count
March 5, 2008
Maggie called me early this morning with the news. We gained a dozen or so delegates by winning Texas, Ohio, and Rhode Island but spent $25-million to do it. She also said we lost about a dozen SuperDelegates who switched over to Barack Obama. Only Mitt Romney spent more of his own money to buy … Read More »
I don’t want to say, “I told you so…”
March 4, 2008
I can’t help myself. My victory speech would have been longer but I had the hiccups. I don’t hiccup when I talk but that only lasts about 10 minutes, then I can’t control it any longer. This was a political victory for the ages. Who cares that I blew a huge lead in two of … Read More »
D-Day, or toast and roast in Texas
March 3, 2008
This is it. Roast or toast. Invade or be conquered. Texas and Ohio. And a couple of other states someplace. Virginia and New Jersey, I think. No, no. It’s Vermont. And Rhode Island. Who goes to Vermont this time of year? And why is it called Rhode Island when there’s no island? Anyway, D-Day is … Read More »
Yes, Virginia, there’s life after Tuesday
March 2, 2008
Ohio is not a pretty place this time of year. It’s almost spring and it still looks like winter here. Everything is gray and dreary and everyone is gray, dreary, and overweight. Hasn’t Ohio ever heard of Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig? Today I was asked a question at a rally by one of my … Read More »
One speech does not a President make
March 1, 2008
Alright, so Barack Obama has been against the war in Iraq since 2002. One speech at an anti-war rally does not a President make, and he’s made a whole presidential campaign out of it. Where’s the beef? Today Texas. Tomorrow Ohio. When will these voters ever wake up? At least Dennis Kucinich was pathetic. Attracting … Read More »