I’m afraid of Saturday Night Live

There’s not much these days that shakes me up. We’ve had about 20 televised debates. 20 or 30 Democratic primary elections and caucuses. I never know what Bill will do next.

I’m afraid of Saturday Night Live.

Tomorrow night is my night and every time I think about it I get chills. The possibilities are endless for a major screw up on national television in front of a live audience. I ask myself, “Hillary, how is this any different than a debate, or a campaign rally?

In many respects it’s not different at all. It’s live. It’s televised. People are watching. The biggest difference, hence my fear, is the comedy element. A debate is not a comedic event, despite a few smiles here and there. The same goes for speaking in front of thousands of supporters. It’s just not a problem. After all, I don’t go up there to crack jokes.

But jokes and making fun is what Saturday Night Live is all about. Most people don’t know it, but when I laugh in an uncontrolled, unrehearsed setting, I snort. God. I will absolutely die if I snort on SNL tomorrow night.

Sometimes it gets so bad that not only do I snort when I laugh, but snot drips from nose and sticks to my lips. It’s not a pretty sight. All that has to happen is one laugh, one snort, one snot drip, and 5-million YouTube videos will course the world. That will do more damage than a dozen Monica Lewinskys. My fingers are crossed and I plan to take a dose of NyQuil before going on stage.

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