Advice from the Brits: “Shut up!”

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To date we’ve tried every tactic known to modern politics to cut into Barack Obama’s allure with the voters. Nothing has worked. Nothing.

The most interesting piece of advice I’ve read anywhere came from Daniel Finkelstein of The London Times. He says I should shut up. That’s it. Just plain old shut up. Well, not shut up as in stop talking, but shut up as in don’t rag on Barack Obama all the time.

I’ll admit, it’s an intriguingĀ  suggestion, and by using it I would be completely out of character. In the absence of any other tactic that’s worked, trying the one tactic that hasn’t been tried may be the only option left.

The gist of this strange tactic is this: Barack Obama is a rock star. People don’t care about his politics or his record or his experience or his lack thereof, they just want to see him sneeze, see him move, see if he’s real, regardless of how shallow he really is. Like a rock star, people want Obama to sing to them through his speeches and public appearances.

So, the only way to combat such an overwhelmingly spiritual and emotional attraction is for me to stop all negative campaigning and focus on my message. I’m experienced. I’m strong. I’m tested. I wouldn’t even have to say he’s not experienced, or strong, or tested, just so long as I keep repeating that I am. Somehow or another, Obama’s drug-induced attraction will wear off and voters will remember who’s really experienced, strong, and tested.

Bill and Icky keep telling me to attack Obama at every chance, but that hasn’t worked so far. Then again, this untried tactic of playing nice-nice to Obama might be part of a larger British strategy to get Obama elected instead of me. After all, they’re still upset at Bill because he gave a case of dental floss to Margaret Thatcher as state gift.

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