Plan B from Outer Space

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I believe in miracles. I believe in divine intervention. I believe that Bill Clinton’s race card idea didn’t work out. I should never have let him talk me into it.

It’s time for Plan B.

The only problem right now is that nobody is sure what Plan B should be. Maggie just doesn’t have a clue about political strategy. Harold and Terry are fresh out of ideas, and Howard’s already on record saying we won’t poach Obama’s so-called pledged delegates, so that’s out. For now.

Obama can thank his new buddy, Ted Kennedy, for the teflon delegate mess. He wrote the rules. Obama may have won plenty of delegates in all those caucus states but they’re not obligated to stick to him. Poaching a few here and there could be a last ditch effort, but it’s not looking too likely that we’ll take that route. For now.

That leaves SuperDelegates and a pickle to bake. SuperDelegates are Democratic Party insiders, former office holders, and party officials. They’re not pledged to any candidate and in a primary race this close will become the deciding factor if neither of us get over 50-percent of the pledged delegates.

In other words, party insiders can sway a close election one way or the other just because they want to.

The pickle baking analogy was Patti’s parting comment, “Hillary,” she said, “you and Bill are baking pickles again.” No matter how you bake it, a pickle still comes out as a pickle and that’s what we’ve got right now– a pickle. If Obama wins the total popular vote from all the primary elections and caucuses, but the SuperDelegates throw their votes to me, as I told them and expect them to, then voters will be upset.

For some reason, they still think their votes actually count in an election. How quaint.

Anyway, back to work on Plan B.

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