What is Bill up to now?

My success in New Hampshire was all Bill Clinton, the true Comeback Kid, the master of pulling a victory rabbit out of a lost election hat. He knew just what to do and when to do it. So, why did Bill reject an offer of support and an endorsement from John Kerry? Honestly, I don’t know.

Terry McAuliffe got a call of one of John Kerry’s aides last night. It seems that Kerry was ready to endorse my campaign and wanted to talk specifics. That’s politician talk for ‘what do I get in return?’ Kerry came on the line and I was listening to him rattle on and on, hoping he’d get to the point soon because I had to go pee. Anyway, Kerry wanted to announce his endorsement for me at a news conference on Thursday.

Great, right? Wrong.

Bill grabbed the phone from me and told Kerry to take a hike. Then he hung up. Bill Clinton just told Senator John Kerry, former Democratic presidential nominee and multi-millionaire (by marriage), that Hillary Clinton didn’t want or need his endorsement.

A few hours later Kerry announced his endorsement of the Obama campaign. I was stunned. We missed an endorsement from a powerful Democrat who almost beat out George Bush for President. Of course, Al Gore was almost President, too, and I don’t see him endorsing anyone.

Anyway, I was stunned, and all I could do was think, ‘What is Bill up to now?

Terry looked over at Bill with his ‘What the hell are you planning now? look. It’s that look where Terry actually stops smiling for a minute, which doesn’t happen often because he puts Vaseline on his lips. I could tell that Terry didn’t really know what Bill was up to. Terry absolutely hates not knowing what’s going on. He’s so insecure.

Well, I looked up at Bill with my really surprised and sad look and I was all teary-eyed and everything– I’ve been practicing– and he leaned over and put his hand on mine and said, “Now Hillary, you have to trust me. Not only do we not want Kerry’s endorsement, we don’t need it.”

I have no idea what Bill is up to now.