I really don’t know what else to say. When I found out that Bill has secretly been supporting Barack Obama, I was stunned. I cried. In fact, I was so pissed at Bill for keeping it a secret from me that I took his entire collection of toys from McDonald’s and put them in a … Read More »
Hillary 83, Barack 47
December 22, 2007
There is no doubt about it. Even in politics, size matters. It’s simple math. When it comes to affairs, mine is longer than his. Maybe that needs to be rephrased. I’m talking about foreign affairs, and my list of experts who back my campaign is longer than the list of wannabe foreign affairs experts who … Read More »
Yes, I’m a genius. So what?
December 21, 2007
Yes, I’m a genius. No, it’s not a big deal. True, I haven’t really taken a test to see if I’m a genius, but people tell me all the time that I’m a genius. I took an IQ test, but Bill had the results sealed under executive order until 2016. What can I say? I … Read More »
What goes around, comes around
December 20, 2007
What goes around, comes around, and all I can say is it’s about friggin time. I’ve been the poster child for bad political news for the past month, but it looks like the tide has changed. Rudy Giuliani got hung out to dry because the city footed the bill for his mistress when he was … Read More »
The Warm and Fuzzy Tour
December 19, 2007
It’s time for the home stretch in Iowa, what with their little caucus votes in early January. “The Hillary I Know” ad campaign is off to a good start and playing well in Peoria. Now I find out that Peoria isn’t even in Iowa. Anyway, we found dozens of people willing to tell others what … Read More »
“The Hillary I Know”
December 18, 2007
For whatever reason, nobody liked my “Free Hillary” campaign slogan. My alternative was “Let Hillary Be Hillary” but even that catchy phrase was panned by everyone except Patti Doyle. She agrees with me on everything. Mark Penn hired some ad agency types who deal in political campaigns. They came up with a new slogan. Even … Read More »
Clinton fatigue and how to avoid it
December 17, 2007
Bill doesn’t know when to shut up. All he does these days is tell everyone what to do, when to do it, and why to do it, but not how to do it. I’m not immune, either, and he’s been on my case worse than flies on stink (a little local phrase I learned in … Read More »
Where have you gone, Joe Lieberman?
December 16, 2007
Bill and I just got off the phone with Joe Lieberman. I called him earlier today to see if he would visit Iowa for a couple of days to help out my campaign. At first Joe said he couldn’t afford the extra expense this time of year. Jews can be such tightwads. Bill said we’d … Read More »