The voters in Iowa don’t seem to like confrontation in politics, they definitely don’t like the status quo, they hate the war in Iraq, I’m certain they don’t like political bickering, and they all say they want a change.
Is it any wonder that when we finally hold a debate in this God-forsaken state of permanent tundra that nothing happens? No confrontation, no bickering, and suddenly every Democratic presidential candidate is all smiles and the candidate of change, change, change.
If there’s one thing Bill Clinton was good at it, it was knowing what the people want and giving it to them. Of course, he was always giving something to someone, but that’s another bag of worms.
Anyway, the day got off to a bad start. First, Bill Shaheen goes around telling everyone that Barack Obama was on drugs or sold drugs or took drugs or sniffed glue or something before he was a Senator. Big whoop, right? Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds do drugs and what does it get them? A gazillion dollars and a trip to the hall of fame? Hall of shame, maybe.
So, I talk to Bill on the phone and say, “Look, Bill, you can’t run around telling people that a presidential candidate took drugs, or had sex with someone, or secretly wears heels and pantyhose. Maybe it’s true, but be subtle about it, man, or get photos.”
Then Shaheen gets all martyrdom on me, and starts blubbering about how much he loves me and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me and the press just got his comments all wrong and misquoted and out of context and everything. And I say, “Tell me about it.”
Finally, he offers to step down as co-chair of the campaign. Whoa. I know when not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so Shaheen’s out and it’s a good day for my campaign because all he did was talk about his wife and her campaign anyway.
The worst part of the whole deal was having to walk over to Barack Obama and apologize for Shaheen’s comments. I so hoped that there would be television cameras around, but nooooo, it was just me and Obama and a cold winter wind whipping up my panties. I apologize to Barack and then all the Obamites run out and tell reporters that the whole scandal was just part of a larger pattern of negativity from Clinton, yada, yada, yada.
When do we start having fun?
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