Color me officially sick of presidential debates. Las Vegas is next on the Boys Meet Girl debate tour, and to mix a couple of metaphors, I see the sharks circling the wagons already. Debates could be a wonderful forum for candidates to discuss their views on important topics of the day. Instead, the debates have … Read More »
CNN is the Clinton News Network
November 13, 2007
Someone figured it out. CNN really means the Clinton News Network. There’s no use denying it. There’s so much campaign money coming in that we had to spend it using creative means, and that means finding honest reporters who are willing to talk about real issues with honesty and integrity. We found a couple of … Read More »
Questions from the audience plants
November 12, 2007
One thing about campaigning in Iowa. The people there ask the same damned questions over and over and over. Don’t they pay attention to each other? I know there’s a newspaper in Iowa and at least one television station because we’re running ads, spending money, educating the unwashed masses in Corn Country. So I thought. … Read More »
Don’t touch that stain, Chelsea
November 11, 2007
I got a phone call from Chelsea tonight and she was all upset and crying and blubbering about something that happened between her and her new boyfriend. So, I ask her, “Chelsea, when did you plan to tell me about your new boyfriend? You promised?” Well, she apologized, said it wouldn’t happen again, blah, blah, … Read More »
“How do we beat the bitch?”
November 10, 2007
So much for Republican family values. You’ll hear about this on CNN in a few days. It takes time for them to cover a Republican story. Seems that some woman has been stalking the McCain campaign trying to ask a simple question and get a simple answer. My operatives tell me that every day for … Read More »
Goodbye, South Carolina
November 9, 2007
I’m not going back to South Carolina. At least, not any time soon. There’s something about the people from South Carolina that really bunches my pantyhose. They come across as all Southern and full of hospitality and grace, but underneath the smiles and behind the bar-b-q stained teeth, those people are real rednecks. At least … Read More »
Stiffing the big tipper
November 8, 2007
You gotta feel sad for all that is wrong with American journalism in the 20th century. All it takes to work at the New York Times is a degree in creative writing. Those would-be journalist who can’t make it to the big show in New York find jobs at National Public Radio, where they have … Read More »
How to contain a bimbo eruption
November 7, 2007
No one can tell me I don’t know how to manage a government. It’s really all about knowing how to deal with powerful men in government After eight years in the White House, I know something about men and power. Power attracts women, and that carnal attraction is at the root of all evil in … Read More »