Bill just gave me the bad news. He was on the phone with Newt Gingrich. According to Newt’s view from his personal political crystal ball, he thinks Barack Obama will win the Iowa caucus in January.
I cried.
We put in so much time and money slogging around Iowa corn fields the past couple of years. I’ve still got some kind of fungus between my toes from all the mud. And Bill tells me I’ve got an eye twitch every time someone says ‘Iowa.’ Honestly, I feel let down. Betrayed. Buggered. The fact that it was the worst of all possible predictions and it came from Newt Gingrich only made the feeling worse.
After all, Gingrich is just never wrong. The man has some kind of crystal ball. He can see the future. How else do you explain that he knew his wife would get cancer so he went out and found another wife? It’s uncanny.
Bill tried to get Newt to look farther ahead, to Super Tuesday, then to the Democratic Convention, but Gingrich wouldn’t bite. Maybe there’s some kind of time limit on his crystal ball.
I’m devastated. I really don’t want to go back to Iowa.
Got a Comment?
Enter your comment in the form below. Comments are moderated to eliminate spam. Once approved, your comment will be published.
Recent Comments