Why can’t they just have a primary election like everyone else? What makes Iowa voters so special that they have to caucus to figure out who they might consider voting for if they actually had an election?
I think it has something to do with the fear of being obscure. That happens to voters of states that are so far away they might as well be a part of Canada. New Hampshire does the same thing as Iowa, but at least they’re smart enough to call their’s a primary election. The same thing is called a caucus in Iowa. Go figure.
On a per vote basis, we probably spend more money in Iowa than any other state in the union, and there are plenty of states we won’t visit during the campaign. Ever. The best voters in those states can hope for is to look up in the sky and watch my plane and imagine there’s a presidential candidate up there that cares.
Iowa gets some sweat and toil because they chose to vote early. A bunch of other states don’t vote early, if at all, so they don’t matter much to a campaign. Can you say “Idaho?” In fact, my list of no-show states is rather long, considering that all the states together probably have a total population approaching one or two million.
North and South Dakota? Why don’t they just join forces and become Dakota. Call it, “Dakota: Canada’s Badlands.” Tourists go to Canada. If people thought Dakota was a part of Canada, the state would have more tourism.
Alaska? Fogettaboutit. Rhode Island? How do some of these states even get two senators? The only reason I will visit Delaware is because of Joe Biden. He’s a friend of Bill. Even Delaware only has one Senator.
Back to Iowa. I’ve about had it with these visits to Frozen Stick Land. Do you know how cold it is in Iowa in winter? The wind only makes it worse and the people there are so dense they don’t even know where the wind comes from. They all sit inside around a fireplace all winter and talk about politics and recipes and the price of corn and watch Wolf Blitzer’s beard turn gray.
Then, once every four years they expect a bus load of presidential candidates to drive through the state, smiling, shaking hands, dumping campaign money on both their television stations, and literally groveling for a few thousand caucus votes.
Enough is enough already. Iowa is a four letter word. Guess which one?
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