One thing about campaigning in Iowa. The people there ask the same damned questions over and over and over. Don’t they pay attention to each other? I know there’s a newspaper in Iowa and at least one television station because we’re running ads, spending money, educating the unwashed masses in Corn Country.
So I thought. After hearing the same question for the 27th time last week, I asked a staffer to prepare a binder of questions to be used during campaign stops. That way, we could hand out questions to the good folks from Iowa and they wouldn’t look or sound so stupid by always asking the same questions.
Well, the best laid plans of mice and men, blah, blah, blah. I should ask myself questions.
We give a question to this girl, a plant in the audience named Muriel from Grinnell College, and we tell her to ask me the question during one of those town hall meetings that Iowans so love. The idea is to ask the question like it’s your own question, right? So what does this airhead girl do? She reads the question out loud, on camera, like she’s reading a question instead of asking a question. There’s a big difference.
We’re only providing the questions to audience plants because the voters in Iowa aren’t smart enough to ask their own questions. What do they know about global warming in Iowa? For some reason, everyone in Iowa is now pissed at me because we planted questions in the audience. Hey, at least I answered the question.
Is it any wonder the state slogan is, “Iowa. We Do Things With Corn?”
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