Alright, I admit that I wrote some pretty nasty things to Bill during the Monica Lewinsky affair. Who could blame me? Well, what I wrote to Bill turned up in the presidential documents in the National Archives.
Let that be a lesson. Read my lips. No. Paper. Trail.
Bill managed to get the Archives to put a seal on our personal communications from back then. All my little hate notes left on his desk in the Oval Office, my threats for a divorce, memos in which I detailed what I would do to his ‘boys’ if he ever dropped his pants again. That kind of ‘communication.’ Big whoop, right? I was saving it for my memoirs. Can you say, ‘best seller list?’
Well, the National Archive promised to seal all those documents until 2012, just after my second inauguration. You would think that would be the end of it, right? That’s not how Washington works.
See, I had fun blasting the Bush administration for being so secretive about, well, their secrets. What goes around, comes around, I guess. Unfortunately, what came around was Chucky’s little brother, Tim Russert who asked in the last debate, “There was a letter written by President Clinton specifically asking that any communication between you and the president not be made available to the public until 2012. Would you lift that ban?”
Trust me. NBC will not have a White House reporter from 2009 through 2016.
What I wanted to say in answer is not what I said. When it rains, it pours. Work with me people. Those were personal communications from a difficult period in my life. Let’s keep them that way a little longer, alright? That’s what I wanted to say, and I didn’t.
Instead, I put the blame on the National Archives being dead slow bureaucratic bastards and they’ll release documents when they can, if ever. I hoped that Russert would just move along because there was nothing to see there. Big mistake. Nooooooooo, little Timmy the pit bull has to chase poor Lassie down and rub her face in it and go for the jugular.
Sorry about mixing metaphors. It was a rough night. Timmy, sometime between now and winter of 2009 you’ll need an accountant and a tax lawyer.
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