Billy Crystal needs a hairpiece

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A few notes from the birthday party:

When Bill told me that Elvis would be attending my 60th birthday bash, I though he’d have a dozen or so Elvis impersonators. Instead, we got Elvis Costello. What a let down. The man is worse than Johnny Cash with all that black, morbid look.

Ron Howard came up to me during the party, slurring his words, and drooling all over. I thought he’d had a stroke. Bill got Billy Crystal to be the master of ceremonies. Crystal looks more like Jon Lovitz every day. If they’re not brothers, then they’ve got to be cousins. They’ve got foreheads that go straight to the collar. If they were Republicans, they could run for president.

But seriously, both men are in dire need of a visit to Bosley.

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